The Lightbulb Moment after 10 years in Business

The past couple of years have been an evolution journey for me, with this last year being the hardest. I started a business almost 10 years ago for the sole purpose of needing to support my four children. I was a single/newly divorced young mother at the time with no support of any kind, so I *had* to make things work, any way I could. Thus the years went by with me doing the same types of things Make lists, focus, don’t leave the office till your lists are complete, etc. etc.

But almost a year ago I came upon a drastic revelation about me. I had no clue what I actually wanted - or even liked - in life. I’d been so totally focused on making sure I could provide for my kids, there was no time or room for focusing on me. The fact that I was a teenage mom just enhanced this problem. I had my first child at 16, so I never had a chance to explore myself, my likes, my dislikes, my wants or anything else for that matter… before becoming a mom and wife.

Well last July my 2nd son went into the Navy. And that hit me hard. There are barely 3 years left now until I have no more children at home. And I had absolutely no clue what to do with myself. I’d been working my tail off for years, focusing completely on taking care of them. But once they’re out of the house that need is no longer there. Or at least it won’t be nearly as strong and not really the same as it has been all these years.

So I had to figure out what to do with myself. I’d already experienced having extra time on my hands just by having only two kids in the house… and that was so strange. I was honestly lost.

I’d also become frustrated with my daily routines. Constantly trying to do more, be more productive, get ahead faster… in short: Be a “success” as so many people define it. I tried making lists, making appointments with myself, mapping out projects, setting goals, all those things. And over time the lightbulb finally lit: My heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t overly interested in most of the stuff I was doing and I wasn’t particularly enjoying it most of the time either. I was working for myself yes, but I was working a JOB. It was simply a way to pay the bills and feed the kids. And I was doing what everyone else expected… or said I should do to be “successful”.

It accomplished my main objective over the years yes. I’ve supported my family completely and comfortably, and I’m extremely proud of myself for how far I’ve come. But in just a few years that part won’t be overly important at all. Last July brought the message home loud and clear: I needed to discover me. I needed to know what makes me tick, what I enjoy, what interests I have and so on. Because when I get to the point of having 24 hours a day to devote to just myself, my husband and my dog… I strongly suspect I won’t want to be chained to the desk so much then.

My lightbulb lit fully at the beginning of this year: Lifestyle. That’s what’s important to me. I realized I wanted a certain kind of lifestyle, and I needed to start making choices and taking actions in line with that lifestyle. Once I finally discovered this little “secret”, life became so much easier and more enjoyable.

- So I stopped worrying much about lists, project steps, and productivity. The lifestyle I want doesn’t involve making lists of things I don’t want to do that will cause me to create more lists of more things I don’t want to do.

 

- I stopped paying attention to million dollar ideas, strategies and suggestions. The lifestyle I want doesn’t involve working my tail off for millions of dollars while never having the time or energy to enjoy those millions.

- I stopped watching “trends” in various industries. The lifestyle I want doesn’t involve trying to keep up with the latest and greatest anything.

There’s many other things I stopped doing and new things I’ve started but my basic point is this: If I get an idea, or see something cool that makes me want to jump around - I step back and ask… How does this fit with the lifestyle I want? Or does it fit at all? Nine times out of ten it doesn’t fit. It involves a lot more work than I’m willing to commit, or a lot more time, or a lot more stress and so on.

So if you’re struggling with idea and opportunity overload, try figuring out the lifestyle you want first. Or the goal if the destination is more important for you than the journey… then ask yourself if this new shiny wonderful thing fits. If it doesn’t, you’ll be suprised at how easy it’ll be to let it pass by.

Written by Kathy Burns
Kathy Burns has been in the online business since 1997 and run the entire gamut of programming; web design; web hosting; search engine optimization; online customer service; massive dot com growth; consulting; affiliate program management…
Visit Website